Take A Bullet For You
by Pekenota14
Summary: Never his irresponsibility and impulsivity had taken him so further. Now, those white walls were her only company. Seeing him weakened was torturing, but to Kensi, losing him was not at all an option.
1. Chapter 1

**This is, so far, a one-shot fanfiction. I need to thank a lot, but really a lot to my friend Ana Sofia for giving me basically everything for this to be here. She forced-uhm, sorry, encouraged me to write a one-shot story, gave me the title and the summary, read this and spotted mistakes...Oh, well, she's everything a writer wants around! If you enjoy this as much as she did, you just made my day!**

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Kensi and Deeks were chasing a suspect on a storage house. They entered sneakily and faced shelves that overpass their height four or five times. The storage seemed endless with rows and rows of shelves littered with boxes filled with important and classified documents inside. The poor light made visible dust hovering, dancing in the air because of the big fan in the ceiling and the powder shone when near the big lamps. They were walking side by side, holding the guns in hands, until they decided to split up to cover more area.

Deeks walked forward while Kensi stood around that same place. He hadn't walked that much when he heard noise that made him run back. Kensi was fighting the man. He disarmed her and knocked her on the head. She fell on the ground and her gun rolled to underneath the shelves, coming to meet Deeks. Kensi was on the floor, head hurting and helpless, with the gun pointed to her face when Deeks showed up.

"Gun down! Now!" He pressed angrily his gun against the suspect's neck. He walked, looking at the guy sideways, and stopped facing his face while pressing the gun against his chest. "Put it down before I make your life shorter."

While Deeks was threatening the man, Kensi got up, holding to the shelf. But the man didn't drop the gun. Instead, he pulled the hammer back and Kensi cringed, waiting for the bullet impact.

Deeks crossed her way and she only heard a dry shot bursting into an echo.

She saw the gunpowder coming out the gun's barrel, but she didn't feel a thing. She only heard Deeks' sob.

She then felt her partner's body beating on hers. She held him by the waist, trying to not let him hit the ground, yelling his name.

The guy started running to get away. Kensi knelt on the floor and while pressing Deeks' wound, she took the gun out of hand and shot the guy in cold blood. Execution style: a shot to the head that he didn't even saw coming because he was back turned to her. He fell, dead. He had pulled out of Kensi the coldest and ruthless feeling on her. She was instinctive, cold. She shot a man coldly, like a merciless killer. But it didn't affect her now that she lowered her eyes to Deeks, seeing his thick blood escaping through her fingers.

"Hell of a shot, Kens." He mumbled.

"Shut up, Deeks. If you shut up, you hang on, jackass!"

"I took a shot for-"

She didn't let him finish. "I didn't ask you to step in the way of the bullet. Now, hang on!"

Deeks expelled blood out of the mouth on a cough. Kensi took the hands of the wound to finally realize where he had been shot. The bullet entered him through his chest, on its right side. It ripped his ribs and lodged on his lung.

He was not going to make it, she thought.

Hearing him gasping for air was distressing because he couldn't breathe and Kensi couldn't help him. She groped herself, looking for the phone, staining her white sweater with his blood. She called Eric for help and just kept hoping it would come on time. The next few minutes were agonizing for her to just try to keep him awake and conscious.

"Kensi!" Sam and Callen were shouting, entering the storage house.

"In here! Fast!"

The medical team rushed to them both, followed by Sam and Callen who kicked the gun of the dead guy's hand and stood watching by distance Kensi suffering.

Deeks' heart stopped. His eyes blinked and closed. He stopped breathing.

"No!" She started performing CPR. "Come on, Deeks, don't you die on me." A tear rushed down Kensi's cheek. She was feeling scared.

She wanted to help her partner so much that the paramedic had to pull her away from him so they could do their work. Kensi looked her hands, her stained sweater and Deeks, motionless on the floor. Weak heartbeats brought hope to Kensi. Those little beats were enough to take him to the ambulance and rush to the hospital. His life was hanging on thread and Kensi got engraved on her mind a horrible memory. Deeks was losing too much blood, but mostly chocking on it. The paramedic sedated him and then grabbed a scalpel, cut him below the throat and fit in there a tube.

Kensi looked away, breathing hardly. She'd never forget what she just saw, but at least he was getting some air. She was feeling bad with herself for being breathing while he was barely alive, fighting for his life. But worst came next when they said something about his lung collapsing and that it was flooding with blood. He grabbed another tube and stuck into the wound. Blood gushed to the floor and he started getting paler. Luckily, they were at the hospital already.

Kensi was stopped on the entrance of the OR where Deeks would be submitted to an opened chest surgery in order to save him. She walked to the bathroom and stared at her own image on the mirror. She was shaking, terrified, wheezing. Her hands trembled as she was washing away his blood out of them. She splashed some water on the face, held the edges of the washbasin and looked at the mirror again. She cried. No one would distinguish the tears from the water dripping down her face. She wasn't ready to lose him. She'd never be ready to lose him. But if the day had to come, she just wished it wouldn't be like that: he stepping in front of her, dying to save her life.

She took her time to breathe, to settle her heart and to come to her mind. She'd be sitting on the waiting room for the next hours and she needed to be alright and positive. Kensi zipped up her black leather jacket zipper, covering the stained sweater and sat on a chair all alone. People entered and left, got up and sat, shouted and cried and she just stood there in silence. The team gave her a call, asking to keep them posted in and she promised that. The hours passed, one by one, and she was still on the same chair, on the same position, with the same attitude. She had her head sank on her hands and elbows were over her knees as she tried her best to breath second after second.

After seven hours, a doctor showed up in the room.

"Family or next-of-kin of Martin Deeks?" He shouted loudly.

"I'm his partner." Kensi got up in a jump and both took a walk along the hallway.

"The surgery was well succeeded. We were able to inflate the lung again. He's breathing now with the help of a respirator that will be used to assist his breathing until the wound healed sufficiently to allow him to breathe unaided. The surgery was, yet delicate, as it is in these cases, and for precaution we put him into an induced coma. But, it's not a reason to be worried about; it's just to ensure he recovers sooner. He'll be out of bed in the next days and if he does everything strictly, he'll be fully recovered within three months."

"Thanks, doc." She smiled. "Can I go see him?"

"Sure. I'll ask a nurse to show you the way."

Kensi entered the room and took a seat next to the bed. She stopped herself from crying again and grabbed his hand on hers. She played with his fingers, intertwined them on hers and then gained the courage to look at him in the face.

Kensi's voice came out, mumbled and she spoke almost whispering. "You are so idiot, you know? Nobody asked you to take that bullet…You just like to be the center of attentions, don't you?" She gave a weak smile. "You gotta be strong…I need you around, Deeks. I need you to be a pain in the ass every single morning." She paused for a while and took her hand to his hair and stroked it. "I need you, Deeks…so much. It pains me knowing that you'd do anything for me, knowing that you're willing of anything to keep me good…I want to keep you with me, I can't lose you…"

Kensi only needed to gather the courage and tell him exactly that…when he could listen to her.

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**So, here's the deal: if you want more than one-shot, review...**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, as you can see, I decided to continue it! Hope you enjoy it...Oh, and thank you all for the reviews to make me continue it.**

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_(Day 1)_

Kensi didn't leave the room since she got in, except to call the team and inform them on Deeks' condition. But, ever since she was still sit nearby the bed, holding his hand on hers. She knew he wasn't awaking up and yet, she just kept staring, waiting. The sadness had taken over her expression. She was feeling weak and sore, pulling out a deep breath once in a while, playing with the fingers of his hand. The white walls seemed to be trapping her, and outside the window, the moon was almost giving its space for the sun to rise with its entire splendor.

She looked the heart monitor. It kept emitting the same beeping; the thin green line kept blinking, marking his heartbeats. The plastic valves of the machine that was helping him breathe compressed and decompressed rhythmically as his chest expanded and compressed. A tube connected the machine with Deeks, stuck with a colorless duct tape to the corner of his mouth. And then she looked his wound, covered in bandages. Kensi couldn't believe that man was her partner. It couldn't be him.

Too quiet.

Too still.

Even too cold.

Eventually the tiredness took over her body and she let her head rest over the bed, falling asleep.

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_(Day 2)_

Kensi awoke up startled, breathing heavily. Her mind had taken her back to the storage house. Kensi saw it all happening again. She felt the impact of his body on hers, she remembered the strength she did to keep him on her arms and she felt her hands sticky again. She looked at them, to make sure they didn't have any blood and her hands were shaking without her being able to stop it. She unzipped the leather jacket and looked the stain on her shirt. It was still wet and then she realized the blood was on her own skin too. Her chest was tarnished with his blood and she distressed. She had to take it away.

She got up dazed, leaving through the door. Sam and Callen were sitting outside, each one with a cup of coffee and Sam was holding one that was for her. She was seeing things foggily, and didn't even look at them properly.

"Kensi?" Callen asked, seeing her mindless. "Kens, is everything okay?"

"Yeah…I'm going home. For a while."

Kensi walked out the hospital and hailed a cab. When arrived, she entered home, picked up the money to pay the driver and then locked herself inside the bathroom. She rested the hands on the door and lowered the head, breathing for a while. She was a mess, she was crying all over again. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She just stripped off the clothes and showered. Kensi grabbed the soap and rubbed it against the chest. She scratched herself with the nails, to make sure she could take away his blood from her body. When her chest was only red over her scrapes, she stopped and felt the water dripping down her.

The hot water was burning her skin, but she didn't mind. The steamy vapor was hovering the bathroom, making it look like a sauna. Kensi ran the fingers through the hair before placing her hands against the cold wall tiles. She was heartbroken, messed up, uncontrolled. If she could go back to the previous night, she'd take that man's life in the same cold way she did. The anger that ran her body on that moment was unexplainable; she had never felt something like that. It was if like someone had drained her own life.

Now it was time to put on some fresh clothes and go back to the hospital. It was time to calm down and be patient. She slipped into cold and washed clothes and picked up the car keys. She drove to the hospital. Callen and Sam were still there and walked to her when they saw her coming. They stood there with her for a while, asked how he was doing and then they left. They understood she'd want to stay with him and gave her that privacy.

Kensi learnt that afternoon the edges of the human patience. She stood the whole day, sat and quiet, trapped inside herself. The loneliness of the room was nothing compared to her inner loneliness. The room didn't matter, it was just a room. But, if he was awake, her solitude would be kicked away. She was all alone, staring at a white wall and a window. Staring at a man, motionless and mute. It had only been a day and she already missed him talking, joking.

Everything around was too still, too dead looking. The heart monitor beeps became a pattern to Kensi's ears, so that she stopped listening to them. She held his hand multiple times and whispered many more. "If you hear me, grasp my hand_._". Like she expected, he didn't move not even a finger. He didn't even breathe differently. He was on an induced coma and he couldn't hear her. Even if he did, he couldn't say anything or even grab tightly her hand, to settle down her heart. Once again, the sleep took over Kensi and she fell asleep, badly accommodated on the chair.

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_(Day 3)_

"Don't force it. It's like using a blade." Hetty said standing by the room's door.

"I was never a man," She excused herself, somehow forcing a smile. "I don't know how to do it."

"A nurse could do it."

"I know." She answered, removing the shaving cream off his face with the razor. His beard had grown too thick and Kensi decided to shave it just a little. She asked a nurse for a towel, a brush, a razor, shaving cream and a bowl with water. She had been shaving his beard for a while now. She was doing it carefully, to not cut him.

"How long have you been here?" Hetty walked inside the room and stood by the end of the bed, watching Kensi cleaning Deeks' face with the towel, slow and delicately following his face features.

"Today's third day." She said, putting everything together to hand later to a nurse.

"Your partner is in good hands. You should go home, get some sleep in your bed. Take a shower… Eat." She reinforced the last one, noticing the agent's aspect. "Work as well…You need to abstract."

"I'm fine, Hetty. And I'll be back on work, right today if you want."

"Not today, Ms. Blye, take this day to go home." Hetty walked to the door and before walking away, she warned. "I mean it."

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**Reviews are welcomed and I love them! There's more to come.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I wanna thank the ones who are reading and reviewing this fanfiction. I have it planned to end up by chapter 5, so up until then keep showing up.**

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_(Day 6)_

Kensi walked along the hall to go visit Deeks after a day of work. She was not just going to visit; she was going to stay for the night, like she had stayed for the last six days. She created a routine. After work she would drive to the hospital, sank on the chair and fall asleep. By the morning, as soon as the first sun rays beat the window, she put a kiss on his forehead and one on his cheek, stroking it while whispering "I'll be back in the evening.". Then she leaves to the Ops center, picking up a donut and a coffee cup in the way.

Going back to work only made worst for Kensi. She keeps professional during work but she can't deny the worry, the tiredness and the weakness that overwhelms her body. In a week, she barely ate and she drugged herself with caffeine to stay awake. She's pale and weak, fragile by back pain and lack of sleep. Her eyes are surrounded by dark circles and she doesn't even remember going home in six days.

When Kensi entered the room, she was puzzled. He was still breathing aided by the respirator. Dr. Harrison was walking to the room, so Kensi didn't close the door.

"Weren't you taking the respirator today?"

"We attempted." He answered, slipping the hands inside the white coat pockets. "The wound seemed healed enough, but only a few minutes after we took the respirator he had a cardiac arrest caused by a respiratory failure." The two put the eyes over Deeks after that, being in silence for a while. "We lost him for a couple minutes there."

Tears got to Kensi's eyes but she repressed them. "Will he have sequels?"

"His brain and his body were deprived of oxygen quite a while. We did scans and MRI's and we didn't find anything. We'll obviously only have definitive answers when he awakes up, but we believe there's nothing to be worried about."

"Is it normal…" Kensi sighed deeply, gathering up some breathe to continue the question. "that he can't breathe on his own? Or that he doesn't awake up from the coma?"

Dr. Harrison was used to those kinds of questions. He was used to deal with families for days, for some even months. Even if he didn't want he always ended up bonding with his patient's families or friends, supporting them through those difficult days. "It was a very sensitive operation and people react in different ways…I cannot precise when he's going to react, but don't lose faith."

"I know, doc, but…"

"I have to do my shift, but I'll be back by the morning." He smiled at her. "Maybe then I can tell you something more."

"Thank you." She said, closing the door and taking her seat on the chair. "You're being like a sissy little girl." She grabbed his hand, mumbling, waiting for his answer. She couldn't remember the sound of his voice anymore, she couldn't remember them bickering.

She cried when she came to herself. He was not going to answer or move.

"Look at me!" She yelled. "God, drive me crazy, talk, tease me…bug me. Be Deeks…Awake up…" She then broke down and cracked a laugh. "You just like to see me going all crazy. I'm talking to a guy on a coma. Have you thought of how demented I feel? You make me cry, yell, laugh…I'm going insane, Deeks." Her voice was taken by emotion again. "I need you. To be sane, to be okay. I need you more than I ever thought I would…I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm worried, I'm broke…I just need you." Now that she had put it all out, she felt relieved. She stripped out the coat and put a kiss on his head. She sat back on her chair as comfortable as she could and covered herself in her own jacket.

Kensi didn't have time to close the eyes. Someone knocked lightly on the door and then entered. It was Sam. "I'm here to pick you up for a beer."

"I'm not in the mood, Sam." She answered, sitting correctly on the chair.

"G's outside waiting, and he's paying." He looked at her concerned and looked at Deeks as well. "Come on. You've been stuck here for days. It's no good for you."

"If was Callen in this situation, would you leave his side?"

Sam got caught. He didn't know what to answer, because just like Kensi was trying to prove him, Sam would do the same thing if he was in her shoes. "You need to decompress, go home at least for tonight."

"Okay," She got up and dressed up the jacket. "let's get a beer. But then drop me off at his house. I need to check on Monty."

Sam agreed, even knowing that that would only make Kensi worst. She'd be among his stuff, on his house, without him being there, but at least she'd be better than she'd be shrunken on that chair next to his bed. Kensi felt better after being that time with Sam and Callen, being later joined by Eric and Nell as well. She put her head away from any problem and had a good time. Worst was really when Callen left her outside Deeks' house. She had never been there before, but she found a way to get in. She knew him so well to guess that would be a spare key under the vase next to the door.

The sound of the key turning in the lock echoed through the empty house. Monty barked and ran to the door, hearing the noise as she closed the door behind her and lit up the room. "Hi, boy." Monty wagged his tail, seeing Kensi and jumped to her legs in happiness. Kensi walked straight to the kitchen, crossing the living room without even taking a good look at the division. She saw the dog's bowl on the floor and he scraped the inside of it with his paw, asking for food. "You gonna have to tell me where the food is, 'cause I don't know."

Obviously the dog didn't understand what she said and she searched into the cupboard, but she didn't find anything. She looked inside the fridge and there wasn't anything to eat as well. "You'll make me order in some food to give the leftovers, won't you?" The dog whimpered and laid the head over the forepaws. She looked into the poor little thing's eyes and saw he was hungry. She had to admit she was starving too. She ordered in a burger and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Kensi sat on the couch, eating and giving small bits of the meat to the dog while watching TV. When both soothed the stomach with food, Monty laid the head over her leg as she was rubbing his ears.

All of the sudden, the dog got up and walked away. Kensi turned off the TV and decided to get some sleep. She just needed something else to cuddle, since the dog had walk away. She lied over the couch, snuggling a pillow under her chin, confirming Sam's theory that being among Deeks' stuff would make it worst for Kensi. The pillow was imbued in his cologne and her temptation was to close her eyes. She felt like she was holding tight to his chest. Then she started to uncover feelings she never thought she had been smothering.

Kensi didn't know what all that meant. She was being crushed with feelings every day, and she was losing her way. She was losing control. In six days, she had kissed his face more times than in three years, which had been none. Kensi just couldn't leave in the morning without putting a kiss on him, without needlessly telling him that she'd be back. She hadn't leave his side in six days, being there holding his hand. She had faith on him awaking up. Faith and love. Maybe not love on its full meaning, but something was there…all the time.

By the morning Kensi arrived the hospital just in time to Dr. Harrison's morning shift. A nurse helped him retrying to take the respirator of Deeks. Love, faith, fate, medical explanation, whatever it was, it worked; Deeks held up and gave his first breathe unaided. Maybe it was the fact that Kensi was there, holding his hand, whispering. "You better be like this when I visit you tonight…Loosing you is not an option to me, Deeks. I'm not giving up on faith, and I know you not gonna give up on me, so just get healed." She then put a kiss on the corner of his lips and left for work.

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**Do I get reviews for torturing Kensi so much?**


	4. Chapter 4

**One more update...the one before the last...**

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_(Day 9)_

"Hetty," Kensi said walking into her office. "can I leave for a couple of hours?" She understood she had to develop her reasons because Hetty was looking at her, clueless. "I just got a call from the hospital. Deeks awoke up." She couldn't disguise the smile that lit up her face after she announced it.

"I think Mr. Deeks will appreciate seeing a familiar face."

"Thank you." Kensi left her office back walking, bowing at her boss.

Kensi stopped outside his room and breathed. For the first time in days, she was going to knock on that door and someone would actually answer back. Her smile was so big that her cheeks even hurt when she heard him saying. "Come in."

"Hey."

"Hi." Deeks was lying down on bed, his head was leaning to his right side and he sounded tired. But when he saw her by the door, it was like if everything had changed. He sat on bed, his eyes filled up with the same bright and vivid blue they used to have and a broad grin glowed up his face.

"How are you?" Her voice came out in a breath as she walked to sit on the chair.

"Not quite sure. The nurses came in doing these weird tests and questions. They checked if I could see and feel, they stung me with needles and asked me if I knew my name, if I remembered what had happened. It was just weird…" He looked at Kensi who was looking away. He realized she knew what was going on. "Something happened? How long has it passed since the shooting?"

"Nine days…" She looked into his eyes and found him clueless. "The doctors induced you into a coma and three days ago they tried to take from you a machine that was helping you breathing, but, uh…you had a, uh, cardiac arrest because you stopped breathing…and you were…dead for a while."

"And…the guy who shot me, was he the guy we were looking for…?"

"Yeah, he was the one. I shot him with just cause."

"I know…"

Kensi was not feeling okay. She was still seeing Deeks dying before her eyes over and over again and those thoughts were scaring her. Kensi's breath was going to start being troubled, her eyes were going to be flooded with tears, her heart was going to beat uncontrollably, she was going to lose control of herself again. "Well, since you're alright, I'm going to work." She said, getting up from the chair and stopping her impulse to lean over him and put on him a kiss. And she wanted to do it so badly...

Kensi just wanted to hold on tight to his chest and tell him not to do that stupidity ever again. She just wanted to, for once, let herself feel weak, be embraced and feel protected. Deeks had saved her life and she wanted to hold to him and feel like as long as she was on his arms, she'd be safe. She wanted to let herself cry without feeling weak and vulnerable. She wanted to let her mouth say _"I need you, stay with me. Hold me...help me show you a side of me you never saw."_, but she couldn't.

"Now that I'm awake, you'll be leaving?"

"I have to, Deeks. You'll be fine with all the nurses."

"Do I detect some jealously in that statement?"

"Shut up!" She mumbled by the door, letting it close behind her.

Deeks knew she had to work because that was who she was. But Deeks wouldn't go. If something ever happened to Kensi, he wouldn't leave her side not even for a second. But first than that, he would not even let anything happen to his girl. Not under his watch, under his protection. Every morning Deeks awakes up and has three goals: do a good job, make Kensi smile and laugh and protect her. He already proved to be willing of any effort to keep her safe. If he hadn't step in the way of the bullet, she would be the one on the hospital bed and he'd be there, day and night, martyring himself with guilt.

Kensi hadn't even took the hand of the doorknob and she was already regretting being outside the room. She opened the door and they stared at each other. She couldn't explain what made her walk back and he didn't even know what to say. Kensi couldn't even explain what was making her walk to him. She took the hands to his jawbones, closed her eyes and locked her lips on his. They made it last for a while until she broke it apart. His heart monitor made the moment more awkward because his heartbeats increased. To help the moment a nurse walked in the room.

"Let's change the bandages?"

"Uhm, sure, I guess." He answered, confused with the entire situation.

"Miss, can you wait outside, please?"

Kensi didn't say anything. She just nodded and closed the door. What the hell had just happened? Neither of them couldn't explain it. Kensi's heart had taken control over her mind and she just did what it told her to do. It had been nine difficult days, full of feelings and emotions, but now that he was okay, she needed to be the same Kensi she was nine days ago. Her shield needed to come up again and they needed to forget whatever that meant. When the nurse finished doing her job, Deeks asked her to call Kensi inside. He wanted to continue doing it. He wanted her.

"She's not here." The nurse told him.

"Of course not." He said disappointed. She had walked away…

Deeks spent the whole afternoon alone. Like Kensi told him, the nurses were his company. They dressed him up in other hospital clothes and helped him getting off bed. His legs were weak; they had been inactive for nine days. He was holding to everything tightly, gaining gradually strengths to walk. The team showed up to visit by the end of the day. Hetty had her usual posture, showed up before everyone and left in the same way. Sam, Callen, Nell and Eric visited him a bit later. The only woman among them showed concern about Deeks, because only she knew how much and how badly it had affected Kensi. Eric was the only one who was somehow scared. The field work always put on him some fear and seeing what happened to the detective only made him more apprehensive about it. Sam and Callen were also worried but couldn't tell him that he had been an idiot. Everyone else but Deeks and Kensi seems to see how much he's willing to sacrifice to protect her. Everyone also knows that she's tough, but she needs someone to protect her, and Deeks is the one to do it.

That seemed to be Kensi's main problem: protection. She wants to keep her tough and kick-ass attitude, but inside she does want to be protected, she wants to feel helpless and have someone holding her. She's the kind of flirty woman who threatens to do all the crazy and wild stuff but in the end can't do a single one…if she cares about the guy enough, which was her partner's case. She has a million ways to tease him, but she'd never do any of those. She'd just lose herself, get lost on him; even let him take full control. Because she trusts him that much and because, and without realizing it, she had crossed to the next level where the emotions count over the act. And that was exactly what she was thinking about, sitting on her couch. What she had done that day it wasn't an impulse…it was something that came from her heart and she was just denying it. But not anymore. She stood next to him for nine days that seemed endless, that were painful. She held his hand, she told him everything she felt for him for now to just walk away? No…

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**Emotional and messy cliffhang! Just to keep you coming for the last chapter...it's gonna be all cute, I promise!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The fifth and last chapter. Thank you all for the reviews, alerts, favorites. Seriously, you guys rock!**

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_(Day 10)_

Kensi was outside the room, walking side by side. She ran her hands through her hair, she bent down and doing the same on her thighs. She was desperate to know if she would enter or if she'd go away again. When she got up from bed that morning she was hundred per cent sure that she'd get in the room, tell him everything and just like that, all would be fine. But now she was freaking out, she wasn't feeling ready to even look him in the eye. Kensi was feeling the throat dry, her brain had blocked any possible speech and she was shaking.

"You should go in there." Kensi grinned and looked back. It had been ten days; she could already recognize Dr. Harrison's old soothing voice. "He hasn't stop looking at the door ever since you left." He looked better at her and affirmed. "And it would be good for you too." Kensi stared at the floor; even a stranger could see how affected she was. "It's pretty obvious, young lady." He laughed.

That Dr. Harrison's laugh made her smile and she felt she had to do it; she felt confident in walking in the room. But before, she had just one more question. "How's gonna be from now on, doctor?"

"From tomorrow morning until the end of the week, he'll be out bed and we'll be running some more tests and exams and we'll start with physiotherapy. I have confidence on discharging him by the end of this week. Then we'll continue with the sessions for more 4 to 7 weeks and he'll be able then to do field work. Now, and that's a matter of discussion with your boss, he can already do desk work by next week without any problem…But let me tell you this much: he had a hell of luck. Not many go through what he went and be as good as he is." The man walked away quietly in slow steps.

Kensi opened the door and froze.

"You're back." He said. She couldn't know what the feeling on his tone of voice was. He seemed happy and confused, a bit angry even.

Kensi sighed and closed the door, resting on hand on it and staring it. "Yeah…I am." She turned around to face him who had sat on the edge of the bed. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "You're Kensi…"

She walked to him and surprised him by hugging him tightly. She supported her forehead on the crook of his neck and exhaled against it. "Don't you ever do that stupidity again. I don't deserve that much."

He pulled her away in that same second and held her face on his hands. "That was the silliest thing that ever came out of your mouth." His thumbs stroke her cheek and the left one rubbed her lower lip. Her eyes blinked and shut. His hands slid down her bare arms and when he grabbed her hand, she opened them but looked down. He jumped off bed and took his forefinger to her chin, making her eyes met his. "Look at me; if you don't deserve it then I'm just an idiot doing stupid stuff…"

"Maybe you are just an idiot doing stupid stuff." She said grinning and avoiding the warmth and blush that had taken over her cheeks. "And maybe I'm even more idiot for liking it…"

"Oh well, considering the fact that it's me we're talking about, it's good to like it."

"You are so-" Kensi's sentence was interrupted by Deeks' kiss.

Her eyes closed in a flash, absorbing every second of it like if they were the last of her life; like if a fulminating heart attack was about to struck her at any second and she'd never have the chance to ever feel him again. The kiss grew in intensity but slowed down. He walked back, leaning against the bed, pulling and pressing her body next to his. His hand traveled up her back and reached her hair, straight and messy. Her hands were still holding his face. They caught a breath every time their mouths grew apart even less than just an inch and none of them wanted to end it. Kensi didn't want neither Deeks, but his breath wanted. His still sore lung needed more air than that. His chest pain, increasing and burning made them stop.

Deeks coughed hoarsely and deeply, and Kensi forced him to lie down on bed. He seemed desperate to even cough, taking the hand to the wound. _Not again_ seemed to be the words running her mind over and over at that time. It all made her flashback to the moment he got shot, to the moment he died in front of her. Deeks started to return to normal but Kensi was taken back to the moments when the vulnerability took control of her, and she cried, scared like hell.

"I'm gonna be okay, angel." He looked into her eyes while cleaning the tears from her face. "Actually, I'm gonna be more than just okay." Deeks didn't know quite well how to react. He had his partner, the toughest woman he has ever met crying over him, literal and figuratively. "It's okay." He pulled her for his lap, holding her head tightly against his chest, caressing her hair. "Shh…it's okay." Kensi didn't mind feeling weak right now. He was holding her and that seemed to be all it mattered. Kensi sniffed and wiped away the tears, now feeling embarrassed for having cried.

"I'm sorry." She said, smiling to disguise the discomfiture.

"Crying actually makes you look human, you know?" He affirmed, gazing her face.

"I wasn't human up until now, is that you're saying?"

"You never were, and you never will be." Deeks expression changed from the playfully smile he had to a serious attitude, a heartfelt one. "You're that kind of person who is out of this world, Kens…" She lowered the eyes to her hands but looked at him again when his hand reached hers. "Believe me." The smile was back on his face and she blushed. She let go his hand and took them both to his face, putting a peck on his lips.

"What do we do now? Where does this leaves us?"

"I don't know." He whispered, cupping her cheek. "Our _thing_ is hard to explain. I think we should forget what ever happened yesterday and just keep growing closer …even closer, get to know each other even more until we reach the moment when…it simply happens."

"What…what if we never reach that point?"

"Then why are we even talking about it?" He grinned at her and pulled her for a kiss. "We'll get to it in a week, a month, a year…when it's the right time. But, no matter how long it takes, I won't be giving up."

"Then I'm not giving up either." She leaned over him, pecking him again. She then rolled over and lied down next to him, supporting her head over his chest. She was doing what she wanted to do for the last 10 days: holding tight to him. Deeks embraced his arms around her, to make sure she was really there, and to assure her he was going to hold and shelter her all the time. The two of them didn't speak anymore. She fell asleep first than him but he didn't last much longer awake after her. Deeks sighed deeply in fulfillment and put a kiss upon her head. He had her head under his chin and her arm across his chest; she had her hand over his wound and the head over his chest; the two of them were more than fine…

THE END

* * *

**I know Kensi may look a bit too opened up but understand, she's been through a lot...**


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